Aspirations!

Currently; emotions surging and overcome with intense motivation!

I want to do LAW!
(even if it means the only means of achieving this is transferring to a shit uni cos of my shit marks)

Going to tank next semester as HARD as I can- at ALL costs! Even if it means never going out or quitting my job!


Wish I had this sudden intense motivation earlier.

I wonder if this is just a fleeting feeling or I have actually come to some sort of realization? Regardless, I feel pumped right now!!

nomnomnomnom

Forever

Currently at the state library alone, been here for quite a while actually..

Solitary confinement (Y)

Anyway got distracted by someone,.. ultimately stumbling upon your page..


I miss you, missing what we were once.. I feel like I can know so much about you yet be so distant from you.. this feeling is so saddening.

Time can change so much.

Wow been listening to this song on repeat for a few hours now O.O; Forever- Chris Brown

Reflection..

Haven't blogged in a while- ages actually.. don't know why.. perhaps I didn't find the motivation? Is it only inspiration that drives us to do something? I don't know... but something overcame me yesterday...-realization..this is it.. like someone took a part of me.. just tore it into shreds.. and im standing there.. looking at the pieces on the floor.. of what's become.. of what's left.. nothing but a still photograph.. as you fade into the background of their lives..

Always looking back.. why?

Staring at my own reflection in the mirror, a sunken feeling at the pit of my stomach.. Cliche as it sounds, I do wonder..who stares back at me? Why am i this way? Why do I always find sadness ..Why do i see sadness in everything I do.. Seems like i'm living by a set of rules i'm desperately trying to unwrite..But i'm trying to run, I honestly am... These feelings do suppress me..overwhelm me at times..

I'm constantly refreshing the page just to find something..an indication? Hidden behind the safety of a screen, staring at a piece..

I'm always trying to please, impress.. but who am i fooling? Constantly telling myself that i'm living a lie..

I do find moments of clarity at times, when I'm hanging out with friends.. people I admire.. people who give me laughter.. thoughts contained...emotions neutral at times like these..

love you guys <3
Vision's hazy, path is unclear, thoughts flailing.. watching days pass, hoping that conceptions will change with time.. so that I will find strength and a sense of content..


Sorry about the nonsensical surge of thoughts..

Goodbye My Love...

So a continuation from yesterday yesterday's post, which was 2 days ago??..that's right; it was the day after everybody came over and trashed the place :@. And I had to complete my tax return so subsequently forgot about completing this post- ahhhh it's all coming back to me...

Regardless, here it is:

Last night 2 nights ago was loads fun-... apart from the FREQUENT bottle spills upon the pre-cleaned carpet [I JUST SPENT 1 HR CLEANING UP CARPET STAINS!!! Not happy Jane.] -and ofcourse Jason Fu, being the delightful child he is, entreated us to one of his Fu Bombs which consisted of an overwhelming amount of toxic FUmes due to his excessive disposal of FU-aeces - basically the air in the bathroom was unbreathable!!!!! and whats worse, it resulted in the bathroom becoming temporarily inaccessible =.=. What else...OH and having to endure their gaming commentary throughout most of the morning and being constantly waken whenever ronald died/killed/lost/won...

But what the heck ey! Nothing matters when your having fun...

Also went to watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince that day which unfortunately, was not as good as expected. The book is better than the movie, though they usually are restricted when filming. The highlight of the movie though, was in a scene where Dumbledore and Harry were cornered by a mass of hideous creatures, resembling bigger sized versions of Golems in fact (Lord of the Rings), and having to remark that FU's mum was a great actor.

**

Due to a tight budget, I was forced to create something quick, satisfying but inexpensive to eat for lunch today.


The result?-



Ingredients: 3x Migoren, ham, *2x egg.

All for under $2!!!!!! =oooo

I think i'm going to be the next male Poh on Master Chef *nods*. Poh better win! We really need an asian face up there to do us proud. But WTF?! How did Chris get out?! Julie didn't even complete her dish!! )#($%)#$(RJ)FDN0(W$)

*Anyway, I was very disappointed by the size of 'Coles Free Range Eggs'-




I am well aware of the fact that good things come in small sizes but the size of the eggs.. absolutely disgraceful! It's safe to say I got jipped, probably my fault for not checking before buying. Particularly this egg, it should not even bear the title of being a '600g Large Egg'.



You can see the disapproval etched on my face. =)

(Nb. egg appears larger in photo)

Anyway I want you guys to meet my new found love, Kim So Eun (김소은) <3-







In case your wondering, she's an actor that stars in the epic drama Boys Before Flowers (Krn Version) and in relation to the title, also features in one of 8eight's new songs 'Goodbye My Love', shown below.




And sorry to you viewers, once again I couldn't refrain myself from blogging about K-Pop but the story behind the MV is actually quite sad and evocative!

Reflection...

Haven't blogged for a while >< but horray exams are over! - for the meantime. =.=

Anyway, just got into a fight with my mum TT...there were tears and such and now just reflection- well that's all i've been able to do - don't feel like doing much except to sit and think. Stare into blank screen and let the thoughts flow to my finger tips. ...funny eh? how after a fight...you feel completely drained, exhausted, unmotivated to do anything besides resolve the inner turmoil going on within you and to cry out your pain ....i've noticed that you feel so much better after crying-besides those uncontrollable 'hiccup' sensations you get after- but it helps seriously. You should never be ashamed/afraid to cry.

I wonder what must be going on in her mind? or perhaps shes just resumed back to watching her tv dramas as per usual- shutting herself completely from the outside word and reality; us.. her children. You must thinking..what prompted this fight? It's stupid really. It started off as an argument about mobile phones and then it turned into something ugly.Funny how the simplest of matters can escalate and turn into something so big; a revaluation of friendship, trust, relationship...love - something hurtful.

And don't you hate it how.. after a fight with your parents, there is this awkwardness that pervades while there's this 'cooling off period' that exists, making confrontations even more awkward? Well she is returning to HK tomorrow so I guess that will act as a cooling off period... -also you've got nowhere else to go besides your room... it's like your trapped there for eternity.. because the house appears to be their territory/domain.

The thing is, she just doesn't understand me. No matter how hard I might try. And it's hard to convey to her how I feel.. why I've done the things I have; it's like those feelings you get when your about to confess to your parents that you've lied to them... or when you've been called into the deputy's office out of the blue.

I guess it's just teenage anxiety- self obsessed teenagers with their constant evaluation of every aspect in their lives.
I'll leave it at that. Hopefully many of you have better relations with your parents. Time is a great healer, and with time relations will heal and friendships will mend. Life is too short to worry; to form hate within you, to hold resentments against your friends because of previous quarrels/misunderstandings.

Everyone should put their grievances behind them and live life in the present, looking towards the future...

Wow I must say, spilling your thoughts onto a page does take a load off. Although it must sound like i'm rambling ...meh.

I feel much better now.

Melody...

Haha another post already??

I happened to stumble across this piano cover of Halo by Yoonha Hwang<--- GREAT musician btw!! MAD on the piano! and yeh...just thought i'd share it. ^o^ Slight variation to the original but still sounds awesome!!



P.s. It's frkn cold outside.

Naked Pics ;)

LOLOLOL made YOU look you pervert!- damn straight you should be ashamed !! haha but just as I grabbed your attention i'm sure I would of turned off ten fold the amount of viewers HAHAAHA! -...yeh lame.

Anyway, haven't had time to blog much these days =((...the reality of the HSC has finally hit home and HARD!!! I regret taking it so lightly the first two terms and now i've truly placed myself in a bad position >o<"". A tip for you guys out there who have not embarked on this journey through hell yet- DON'T BLUDGE!!! The HSC is looming so close I can already smell my failure. Assessments are in about a week followed closely by trials and then the HSC!! GG)=OOOOOOOOO(*#&#@50(*&#%(*%#$)_*(^@ . T.T

A quote I recently found says-"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will"-Vincent T. Lombardi and quite frankly "Effort=Outcome". Currently, it feels like I am one stepping stone away from my future and it is all determined on 'the now'. ARGH immense pressure atm! Can't wait until uni!-wait..that's if I make it into a course that is T_T.

Anyway sorry for boring you with my life story XD..here are the nude pics as promised...- JKS! haha but here are random pics I found on my camera from yoinks ago...ehh Bio Camp?? O.O What an experience!-..ay Cecil?? if you're reading this HAHA! Hmm..if you'd asked me to sum up bio camp in a few words it would be; leeches/mosquitos-> faeces-> trees-> raw chicken-> kangaroos-> sub zero temperatures & Tarzan's wife (the bush ranger appeared like she was a bush baby O.O).

Overall bio camp truly was a "Hungry Jacks Stunner Deal!"









Our cabins.


Teacher's cabin. gg


HK Tseun Wan-






Cute puppy.


Cute pandas.


Cute pony.


-GL everybody with their studies! Aja Hwaiting!!~